Harry's attempt on his own life
by Ac 3000
Summary: Harry was not the golden boy everyone saw. He really had pure self hatred always focused on himself. One night he decides to end it all when he is saved by an unlikely person, Severus Snape. warning: Implied child abuse sucide attempt. up for adoption
1. Chapter 1

**I don't own Harry Potter**

**I pray to Jesus for the kids who are like this.**

**Harry's cuts.**

A young sixteen year old by the name of Harry Potter was inside the castle of Hogwarts, in an empty classroom. He was holding the knife he had sharpened to his wrist. The demon inside his head was screaming " Do it! No one will care, and you'll get to see your family again" As Harry screamed back" Fine!" So the young wizard slit both of his wrists, and was about to slice his throat open, when Severus Snape walked in the room.

Severus was horrified, his true love had given her life for this boy, and here he was wasting it. Severus nearly shouted " Accio Knife." Potter looked at him weakly, Severus immediately used magic to heal the wounds. He started to yell at Potter" Potter you can consider yourself on probation for the rest of the year, 100 points will be taken from Gryffindor, and your guardian's will be notified!" Potter gave him a look, but before Severus could start again, Dumbledore walked down the stairs and nearly asked what had happened, when he saw the scars on Harry's wrist, the knife in Snape's hand, and the look of utter self-hatred on his face. Dumbledore immediately said in a tone that would scare Severus " Mr. Potter come with me, if you do not I will force you to do so. "

Harry Potter walked forward as Severus thought to himself " Good thing I left some personal potion supplies in here." He walked along, knowing Albus would want him to counsel Potter, much like every other suicidal student. All three of them got in their office when Dumbledore said in a venomous tone, " Potter, explain why you thought Suicide was the answer!"

Harry Potter said with hatred in his tone " like you care Headmaster!" He went to leave when Snape called him back. " Potter come back or **I will make you come back**!" Harry took no heed to Severus's warning, so Severus said calmly a stunning curse. Dumbledore knew Harry needed to get his emotions out, but he would never do so, so he told Snape " Severus, if you would use Legmency, and then you can take him down to your private quarters for therapy sessions." At the worried look on Potter's face Snape said " Do not worry Potter it is for your own good." He looked into Potter's eyes and saw, his own childhood without the addition of his mother. He realized he had been wrong about Harry, ( he knew he was jerk off for calling him Harry once he found out he had had a similar childhood.) and the final memories that played were of Cedric Diggory dying, and of Harry's Godfather going through the veil at the ministry of Magic. He picked up Potter, and realized he had forgotten to cast a feather weight charm, but he also realized Harry's height and little weight made him very easy to carry.

Harry was afraid. Snape had just carried him down into the dungeons. Snape laid Harry down on the couch, feed Harry a small bit of calming draught, and unstunned Harry. (Before this he had cast silencing charms around his room) " Now Potter, first of all I would like to apologize for all the things I have said to you over the years. Secondly, I would like you to release your emotions." Harry was startled, and immediately asked " What you mean cry?" Snape nodded. As Harry said " Like you really care." That had been a mistake. Snape immediately said " More of your cheek Mr. Potter and I will give you detention, which won't be so good with probation, would it?" Harry said nothing. Snape continued " Now Potter, you have two options. You either release all your emotions now, or I will give you a potion to do so." Harry said " You wouldn't dare." But he was blinking back tears. He realized he had to release some of his emotions now or Snape would make him. So he started to cry.

Severus came and picked the young wizard up. Harry struggled against him but was no match for his strength. He decided to say " Go ahead and cry Harry, it will not be held against you by anyone." So Harry used this once-in-a-lifetime moment, ( for him anyway) to cry as much as he wanted.

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Please review.


	2. Harry's new therapist

**Thanks to the Lord again.**

**Harry's life.**

Harry was doing perfect in all his subjects. Everyone called him smart, said he could answer every question. But the young wizard thought much differently of himself. The demon rabbit in his brain kept telling him to cut himself, he hated himself beyond belief, and the one person in the world ( besides moldy voldy) he hated was his therapist, Severus Snape.

However, it wasn't the fact that he hated the man that caused his confusion, it was that he felt more vulnerable around him. Ever since Snape had become his therapist, he was always welcomed to the dungeons to talk to him. It had helped greatly whenever he stopped being able to fight off the growing despair. He hadn't told Snape, but sometimes it had gotten bad enough, where he literally stopped being able to feel any emotion besides pain momentarily. Although he had a feeling Snape knew about that.

His friends hadn't helped. Ron was constantly being a prick and always asking why he spent so much time with the vampire of the dungeons, or why he was getting good grades, or even where the scars on his wrist had come from. Hermione didn't care that Harry was spending time with Snape, but she did care about the scars, she constantly pushed him about it until one night he had shouted at her " Fine Hermione, you want to know? I tried to end my life." Hermione looked guilty, but before she could say anything he was on the way to the dungeons, he had needed to cry again.

Severus had just stocked the calming draught for Harry when the boy walked in the room. It was obvious the boy had been crying on his way here. Severus immediately pulled Harry into a hug. Harry loved that, and the fact that Snape never pushed him if he didn't want to tell him what had happened, he just let him cry, and let Harry tell him in his own time. Harry's crying came into a stop, he tried to pull away.

Snape sat down and pulled the child in his lap. He asked calmly" Harry, would you like to tell me what happened?" Harry would be embarrassed, but he didn't care anymore. So he said " Hermione and Ron kept trying to question me about you, my good grades, and the scars on my wrist. I snapped at Hermione in the middle of a busy common room and told her I tried to commit suicide." He had ended the last sentence with a sob and renewed crying.

Severus pulled the boy into a tighter embrace, he was going to wait for Harry to stop crying, and then tell him how to handle the situation, when he noticed Harry had fallen asleep. "Typical Gryffindor" he thought. Severus made the bed into a couch, put Harry down, and even though all his senses told him not too, he tucked the Potter boy in.

Harry had remembered that night, because it was the closest thing to love he had felt in years. Severus had woken him up gently in the morning, and told him to go get ready for school and go to breakfast. Harry rolled his eyes, but Snape said " And if I don't see you eating anything or you skip breakfast, I will carry you down there myself and feed you on my lap like a toddler, is that clear Harry?" Harry almost replied with a snarky remark, when he realized Snape was just caring, so he said " Yes sir," and left to go get ready for school.

Severus went to speak to Albus Dumbledore about the emotions he was having, but he refused what Albus had said, but he had a flashback." If I do say so myself Severus, I think you are developing feelings for the boy." Before Severus could think he said securely " I am not gay Dumbledore, didn't you see the no slash at summary of this?" Snape waited for his answer, but Albus did was chuckle and say " Not like that my boy, but father/son feelings, you know, what this crappy fic is about since the writer can't come up with anything new." Then Severus remembered that Dumbledore had suddenly been silenced, as though someone had told him to shut up. Severus thanked the author for that, since he hated it when Dumbledore kept on talking.

Severus had just gotten back from his office when Harry walked in. Harry calmly told Severus that nothing had happened, but he just wanted to be with someone. Severus had accepted that, and started getting to know Harry. He slowly realized, that Harry wasn't like his father at all, and was a loving caring child who had gotten a raw deal in life. Harry had forgiven him for his mistakes, and had even eventually learned to trust Severus to help him in his life. Harry was eventually forgiven by Snape for the same thing. They were both happy they could just let bygones be bygones.

Severus was going to bed when he was fire called by Minerva. She told him in a worried tone, " Harry had a nightmare, he refuses to speak to anyone but you, I was able to remove him from the Gryffindor sleeping quarters, but he refuses to leave my office unless you come to get him." Severus grabbed some calming draught, and headed for Minerva's quarter's. By the time he had got there Harry was just sobbing wildly. Minerva told him he had permission to take Harry to his private Quarters to talk to him. He walked over, and gently picked Harry up. For the first time in a while Harry fought him. Severus calmly said " it is okay Harry I got you, we are heading for the therapy room." ( The therapy room had silencing charms everywhere, so no one would hear if Harry was crying.)

Severus shifted Harry into a more comfortable position in his arms, and walked down to the dungeons. He ran into a startled Malfoy, Severus yelled " Mr. Malfoy this is none of your business, if I hear one word of you making fun of Potter for this you will have detention every day for the rest of the year. **Now get to your classroom!" **Malfoy ran off, while Severus made it to the door of his private Quarters. He said the password and brought Harry to the Therapy room. Harry immediately burst into renewed sobs. Severus calmly asked " Harry would you like a calming draught?" Harry nodded, so Snape got some and told Harry to drink it, the teenager did so without a word. Severus then asked " Harry, could you please tell me what your nightmare was about?"

Harry started to say it was to embarrassing when Snape cut in and said " Harry you should know I won't hold anything against you, but if you not say it, it is fine with me. But please tell me what scared you this much." Harry started to tell Severus about his horrible nightmare. And then

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Yeah kinda sucky cliffy I know, but this chapter was really fun to write and is much longer than the other already.


	3. Harry's rescue

Once again props to God on this one.

**Harry's nightmare was...**

Harry was about to tell Severus that he would not say what his nightmare was, when he remembered something.

_Harry Potter steps inside number 4 privet drive. He walked up to his Uncle Vernon and told the whole family about his attempt at suicide, they each cursed Snape and told him to go finish the job. Harry ran out of the house crying. Severus was there to make sure Harry told his relatives the news. _

_Severus saw Harry being upset again, so he apparated to his house. He walked to a room with silencing charms on it, and told Harry it was safe to stop crying. Harry had been so depressed he wanted to be again. He started to be embarrassed at the thought, Snape saw his discomfort and said calmly " Harry, it is okay, I will not tell anything said in here to others, and I will not hold it against you." So Harry, with humiliation written in his voice asked " Professor, could to pick me up again?" Severus Immediately did just that. Harry told him what had happened, without having to be asked. Harry was crying when Snape said " Harry, no one is worthless, especially not a gifted child like you, do I make myself clear?" Harry was so comforted by these words, he didn't want to leave. He asked " Professor, may I sleep down here tonight?" Snape said " yes." And made the couch bed for Harry, and went to bed himself. Harry secretly wished he was tucked in by Severus, but he had gotten more Love like feelings then he had thought he would ever get, so he used those feelings to get him to sleep. _

Those words remained comforting to him even now, so he decided to tell Snape about the nightmare. " It started with my parents death, Then Sirius, being tortured, and then you dying." Snape would never let Harry know, but those words had warmed his cold heart. He asked Harry " What upsets you most about this dream?" Harry reluctantly said " You dying!" And burst into new tears. Sev secretly said to himself " Yes! Me: one Mutt: zero." But he snapped back and said " Harry, I think that is because I have become a figure of comfort to you. It is perfectly natural, so do not be embarrassed about it. And please do not let this stress you, that is the last thing you need."

Harry was now fully calmed down. He was about to get off Snape's lap when Snape pulled him into a sudden hug. He felt so safe with this man, so comfortable. Severus looked at Harry, who as now asleep once again in his arms. He gently lifted Harry up and walked over to couch-that was still a bed, and laid Harry down on it.

Severus woke Harry up that morning. Severus told him to have a good morning, and the food warning still applied, and left with Harry. Severus had a meeting to go to, so went a different way than Harry. While Harry was going to the great hall, suddenly an invisibility cloak was thrown over him, and a knife was to his throat. Lucius Malfoy said calmly" make one move and I cut your throat open." Had this been a weeks earlier Harry wouldn't of cared, but Severus had improved his sense of self-value. So he said nothing.

Severus made his back down to the great Hall, only to discover Harry wasn't there. He knew Harry would hate him for this, but he had to be stern. So he went looking for Harry. When he couldn't find Harry in his common room, he walked into the dormitory and took the Marauder's map.( Harry told him about it.) He activated it, and to his horror he saw Lucius Malfoy was in the castle, and he had Harry. Severus rushed to the seventh floor corridor. Lucius in his arrogance took off the cloak at the sight of another death eater.

Severus reacted on Instinct. " Cruico." Malfoy dropped Harry, which caused Snape to stop and say " Accio Harry," which gave Malfoy enough time to through his knife at Potter. Dumbledore was investigating, and by instinct, jumped in front of the two who needed each other, more than they would admit. Lucius was shocked, he had just gotten in a heavy injury if not fatal blow on Dumbledore. Before anything else could happen, Snape said " Stupefy," and sent his patronus as a message to the order of phoenix.

Harry had blacked out at the sight of another person dying because of him. He had woken up in the hospital wing, with Severus standing over him. Snape breathed in relief, and said " Harry, how are you feeling?" Harry told Snape he was feeling fine, even though he had a cough and a headache going on. He asked " Where is Dumbledore?" Snape told him " Harry, the knife struck him in the .......

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Now that was a good cliffy, wasn't it? Please review.


	4. Dumbledore's death, Voldemort's wrath

Props again to God.

**Dumbledore's conclusion.**

" The knife hit him in the eye, he was dead milliseconds after impact. Malfoy was arrested for your attempted kidnapping, attempted murder, and murder." Severus snape said, with no hint of worry in his voice. Harry coughed again, when Severus summoned a throat softener elixir laced with calming draught and pain relief. He told Harry " Here drink this, it will make you feel better." Harry shook his head, when Severus said " If your going to act like a child, fine. You have to the count of three before put you on my lap and force you to drink this." Harry gave him a look that said " I don't care." Severus began to count. " One." "two" before he could say three Harry started to drink the potion.

Harry started to feel better almost as soon as he drank it, but it made him very tired and sleepy. Severus saw how sleepy Harry was and said " Here let me tuck you in." Harry was overjoyed, he hadn't been tucked in since he was a toddler. Severus quickly tucked him and started to rub Harry's back. Before Harry knew it, he was asleep. Severus knew that thanks to the calming draught, it would take and elephant to wake Harry. He was pulling his hand away when a loud obnoxious voice said " Keep your hands off him you bloody bat!" Severus, startled, turn and saw Ronald Weasley, looking at him with daggers in his eyes. He was insulted, so he said "That will be a detention Mr. Weasley." He nearly told Ronald that he was Harry's therapist, but that was Harry's business. " I will be stay with him as long as I want, seeing as how I made sure his head didn't hit the floor and bust open." He ended the conversation with that, because Ronald ran off.

Severus needed sleep too. The one person who was vital in the war against Voldemort gave his life for him. That must mean he is just as important, otherwise Albus would of been to caught in his mad schemes to take that knife. He didn't want to think about it, but he was not going to leave Harry's side, so he got up and asked Madam Pomprey if he could take Harry to his private quarters for comfort. She reluctantly agreed once he reminded her he was a trained med wizard as well. Severus was carrying Harry in his arms on his way down, luckily only Malfoy saw them, and he had been warned. So he got there, and moved the couch bed near his bed, and went to sleep.

Severus woke to Harry whimpering, so he picked him up, and he calmed. Severus thought about it for a moment, and said " Oh like it matters snape." To himself, and laid Harry down on his bed, and went to sleep again.

Harry woke, only to be embarrassed immediately. He was snuggled up to his professor, he wondered how he even got in this position. His nightmare flashed back, and he realized Snape must of picked him up, and let him sleep in this bed. Then he thought about it, and decided to snuggle closer, Severus had already told him he would have nothing held against him.

Tom Riddle slipped into Harry Potter's mind, and saw the thing he had been waiting for. Dumbledore was dead! His joy was very short, once he also saw that Severus really was a triple agent. He would have to deal with that after the assault he was about to make on Hogwarts. He was just about to summon his death eaters, when Harry Potter woke up.

Severus was shaking him. Once he realized Harry was awake, he stopped. Before Severus could ask him any questions, he said " Severus, Voldemort knows of Dumbledore's death, and you being on Dumbledore's side. He is preparing for an assault on Hogwarts!" He tried to sit up, but Severus pushed him back down, and said " How do you know all this?" Harry explained how he had saw Voldemort peer into his mind, and how very little time they had left before the assault. Before Severus could say anything, his mark began to burn. He realized that what Harry was saying was true, because there were only two things that constituted an emergency meeting: An assault on a Manor, or a rebirth similar to that.

What the fools didn't know, was that Voldemort was not bringing any death eaters, and had only called the spy. He was just sending the false signs to get their attentions elsewhere. He calmly collected his time-turner, and apparated to Hogsmeade so he could travel through the secret passages to Hogwarts. He planned to end his own life tonight, earlier than what should of been.

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End of chapter

And I am planning major shockers, for the next few chapters.


	5. I replaced this chapterwrong thingbefor

The last chapter Voldemort thing was a nightmare.

**Harry's waking.**

Harry awoke with a jolt. He had a nightmare, that Voldemort apparated to

hogsmeade, went into the school, and killed them all. He realized he was in the hospital

wing, he remembered blacking out when Dumbledore's blood was all over the floor.

He looked around and saw his therapist beside him, and decided to wake him. "

Sev, Sev, please wake up." Severus woke and said sleepily " Ah Harry, your up." At the

worried look on Harry's face he asked " Harry did you have a nightmare?" Harry nodded

and told him about it. At the end Severus told Harry " Harry, if you feel like crying, then

do so." Harry was feeling weak, and with Dumbledore's death pushed him over the edge,

so he started to cry. Severus picked Harry up, lay down on the hospital wing bed, and laid Harry on his chest.

Harry was still crying after a while, but he eventually went to sleep when Severus

started to rub his back. Severus pulled the blanket over himself and Harry. Then he

went to sleep.

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Harry was on the way to the dungeons. He had just felt mean and angry and he

had no idea why. He had decided Severus might know what to do. He arrived there and

went in with Severus. Harry told Severus how he was feeling. Severus asked " Have you

been dealing with a lot of things that do not agree to your personality?" Harry thought it

over, and said " Yes come to think of it. But what does that have to do with it?" Severus

explained " If you go to long like that it makes you feel like your a sell-out, and it makes

you very depressed. So what would you like to do Harry?" Harry was startled at being

asked that, but said " I don't know. Although talking to you makes me feel better, like you

agree with my personality." Severus responded with " Harry I am touched. So what is it

that disagrees with you?" Harry thought about it and said " Well a lot of things.

Mcgonagall ( Oh heck I can not spell) says he is going to teach me a few lessons, but she always cancels.

The teachers are all acting like I am a genius now, but I know I am not one. And all my

friends are to obsessed with their selves to really talk and think about the situations they are

placed in , which ticks me off. Also Ron is always complaining about being poor, when to

me it just comes out as " Harry your blessed, your rich. I wish I could be you." and that

makes me want to hurt him. And I guess the worse is dealing with Ron's non-stop bashing

on all the slytherin, who he is constantly prejudiced against, which makes me want to hurt

him even more. And then I am confused as to why I am fighting constantly with my best

friend." Severus let Harry catch his breath, and said " That is perfectly understandable.

Up until a few weeks ago you were convinced you were weak and dumb. So when you

started trying you surprised yourself. Basically your body and mind is thinking it does not

deserve those grades. Mcgonagall failing on you just upsets you because someone so

important in your life not caring enough to spend time with you hurts. You are mad with

your friends because they are able to live happily, and without the weight you carry on

your shoulders, they are able to just think like a regular kid, which makes you jealous of

their lack of conscious. Ronald is ticking you off because he is just being prejudice,

which you have experienced enough of in your life, so you distance yourself from him. I

might add you would be like him though, had we not had our sessions." Severus caught

his breath while Harry realized Snape was telling the truth, but before he could say

anything, Snape continued, " And this all confusing you is because you didn't know a good

slytherin, but since you now know one of them and care about them and they care about

you, you are forced to defend them. Am I right?" Harry was amazed Severus had known

that all, almost as if someone had wrote it down for him. Harry said quickly " Yeah, as a

matter of fact you had it all right." Severus nodded and said " While the solution is long

and simple Harry." Harry laughed about it being simple, and said " What is it?" Severus

took a deep breath and said " For one, stop caring about Dumbledore, he does not care

about anyone or anything but his own schemes, currently I think he is determining whether

or not you are still of use to him. Also, you should not be jealous of your friends, but trust

me I know how hard it is not to be. Just let them know how you feel, and if they don't

listen or they get mad, then they really aren't your friends. And personally tell Ronald the

truth about your life, and if he doesn't listen, push it until he does. Also you should not

care what anyone thinks about us being friends, or even me being your therapist. Trust me,

just do makes you happy and your religion happy, otherwise you will end up in a miserable

position. Which would be a waster considering your potential for happiness." Harry was

touched and asked " You really think so?" Severus said " I know so, now it is time for

you to go to bed." Harry stopped for a second, and asked " Can I sleep down here

tonight?" Severus nodded and showed Harry his bed. Harry awkwardly sat down, about

to ask Sev if he could tuck him in, when Severus did so without asking. Severus told him

good night, and Harry was asleep before he left the room.


End file.
